Interview with Spice

 I intend to record this blog as a podcast.  So enjoy what you are reading, and prepare to listen to the recorded version, when I figure out the technology.

Laverne

Welcome, listeners, to the first podcast of Talking Horses.  Today I have a special treat for you.  Spice, the oldest resident equine at Friendly Horse Acres, has agreed to be interviewed.  For those of you who don't know him, Spice is a Welsh/Shetland cross gelding who has served as a mount for over 30 years.  He is a handsome red roan pinto.

Welcome, Spice, and thank you for consenting to talk to me.

Spice

 There are cookies in it for me, right?

Laverne (sotto voce)

We'll talk about it later

Laverne (normal voice)

So thank you, Spice for your service, especially as a therapeutic riding mount.  Have you enjoyed the work?

Spice

Sure, it's good, as long as the work stays interesting.  I'm easily bored.  Going around in endless circles is not my favorite activity.  I like a bit of action at a faster pace.   I'm the kind of guy who enjoys a brisk trot, or better yet, a jolly canter.  I'm an agreeable sort of guy, though, so mostly I just try to get along. 

Laverne

What would you prefer to be doing? 

Spice

Jumping.  I love jumping.  Anything is good.  Rails, barrels, hay bales.  Put a barrier in front of me, and I'll go over it.  I do it for fun, even if I don't have someone urging me.  My complaint about jumping with a rider is the constant repetition.  Come on, people, if you've done it three times, lets move on to something else.  If you stayed on a few times, let's call it good.  I don't give a rip about your form.

Laverne

Anything else you particularly enjoy? 

Spice

Yeah, I do enjoy doing tricks.  I come when I'm called from anywhere if I hear the person, I grin on command, I bow as long as a human bows with me, I climb on a platform and spin slowly and I don't mind a rider running and jumping on my back.  Of course, the rider has to be light.  Oh, and I do give exuberant kisses.

And I do expect to be rewarded.

Speaking of which, about those reward cookie treats...

Laverne (sotto voce)

Later.

Laverne (normal voice)

Any special memories?

Spice

That Halloween soon after I came to the farm was a blast.  You had advertised a haunted barn, and after scaring people inside the barn, they were routed out of the arena to the back lawn.  They didn't know the biggest scare was outside.  I was under a sheet, and along with a couple of students in costume, and you, too, we burst out from behind a wall of hay and chased them, screaming, out of the arena.  I love to create chaos.  Too bad we never did it again. 

Laverne

Is life good for you?

Spice

I'm pretty content.  The food is good, the attention is adequate, and the mares are a bonus.  Also, I like the treats.  About the treats...

Laverne (quickly)

Any not so good times?

Spice

Well, a year ago,  last spring didn't start off very well.  I couldn't eat enough to keep my weight, and my winter coat didn't want to shed off.  You thought it was my teeth, but that was only part of my problem.  You had to call in a new vet because Dr Bob retired.  I liked her.  She was pretty gentle with her needles, and she took her time doing the dental.  The needles hardly hurt.

Turns out I have cushing's disease, but there are some pills for it.  Nasty pills.  You tried to force them down me with the pill pockets for horses, but you can't fool me.  I spat them back on you.  Serves you right. Those treats could fool the other horses, but not me.  Then you dissolved the pills in mash, but I eventually got wise to that.  For awhile the new vet said I was doing okay, and the weight came on.  This spring she said I was not swallowing enough.  Now you are hiding the pills in Fig Newtons.  So far, so good.

Laverne 

Any dislikes?

Spice

Dogs.  I hate dogs.  Your little mutt is the worst.  I run him out of my territory.

Laverne

Anything you would like to add?

Spice

If you can't lose twenty pounds, stay off my back.

And about those treats.

Laverne 

Ummm

Laverne (sotto voce)

Shh about the treats.  Later.

Laverne

Thank you, Spice, and thank you, folks, for joining us for this podcast of Talking Horses.  Please join us next time.

Fading voice imploring, "Spice, get out of my pocket.  You'll get the treats."