The Zen of Poop

         I spend at least an hour a day picking up horse poop.  There are days when I resent having to shovel manure, but most of the time swinging a plastic fork is a chance for my brain to have free range. (No pun intended, but I little free range would mitigate the amount of manure I have to pick up.)  While shoveling, I can mull over life's problems, I can come up with story ideas, I can even discover new blog plans.  In fact, lots of blogs and newspaper columns have come out of the manure pile, so to speak.

    I often find myself counting "road apple" piles.  Everyday I check on my old mare, Bay.  In the spring, if there is fresh grass, she can produce as many as 16 piles, although that decreases in the winter.  I do expect at least 13 from her, though.  I remember one big storm when she gave me 21.  I said to my husband, "She had the sh.. scared out of her."  If there were less than 10 piles a day from her, I would worry about colic.  Fortunately, that is one of the few problems she has.  She suffers from ulcers, allergies, arthritis, a club foot and a nervous nature.  Needless to say, she is a beloved pasture ornament, or in her case, an arena ornament. 

    As a side note, the term road apple comes from the mid-twentieth century when horses were still a major means of transportation.  Apparently the piles of manure, from a distance, looked like apples.  Weird, because I wouldn't be interested in dark-brown, rotten apples.

    Although the smell of horse manure doesn't bother me, I'm aware that a horse with diarrhea has a much stinkier aroma.  I know some people don't like the odor of horse fecal matter, but I'm so used to it I seldom notice - unless the smell is off.  In that case, it may be time to call the veterinarian.

    I also worry if the manure is too loose.  Horses don't normally drop cow pies.  Their poop should be firm, but not rock hard.  I do have one mare who tends to have looser manure than the others, but I have noted over the years that she also drinks more water than her pasture mates.  Since she has been a loose stool dropper for over 10 years, I've come to assume slightly less formed turds are normal for her.

    However, this does bring up the point that water is just as important as hay.  On freezing winter days we do have heaters for all the water tanks, but I still lug a bucket or two to any equine who seems reluctant to drink in freezing weather.  They appear to be like me.  I enjoy warmer water or hot tea on a cold day.  Heck, I like tea anytime.  Earl Grey especially.  I wonder if tea is good for horses?  

    Hmm.  A tangent.

    I have to point out, picking up manure can lead me on multiple tangents, and with multiple horses, I have lots of opportunities for tangents.

    Some time in the past I read that horse manure can be one of the best fertilizers in the world.  I wish I could locate that article, but I suspect is was something I dug up in university, and it is probably buried in a stack of scholarly research articles catalogued in college libraries. Anyway, my own personal experience would indicate what is widely known: horse manure is one of the best fertilizers for gardens if it is sufficiently composted.  I've had success even when it is not composted well.  Most of my plants like it, although I keep it off the rhododendrons.

    Horse poop also gives me a certain peace of mind.  To explain, a horse who is not pooping is sick.  I've spent sleepless nights worrying about a pony in obvious discomfort and stress as they strain to unsuccessfully eliminate waste.  Veterinary calls are made, of course, but still... Over the years most of our horses pull through a bout of colic, but not all.  I remember the first little mare we lost.  She was a Miniature Horse, and we weren't prepared to lose her even after we called in two vets who did all they could to save her. In my experience, the minis are more prone to colic, and some research does indicate they are likely to get impaction colic, with hardened fecal matter because of their smaller size with less space in the intestines.  I haven't found any research numbers on the size of the problem, but I imagine the papers are out there.     

    In my years of horse-keeping, colic has been the prime killer of many of my horses.  No real surprise.  I've seen pictures of a horse's intestines, and the coils appear to be miles long.  Apparently, they are "only" about 70 feet, compared with a human's roughly 15 feet.  (Both are scary numbers to me.)  Anyway, I have been told that what horses ingest, they have to poop out.  I hate throwing up, but I guess our gag reflex saves our lives.  Horses can't vomit.  It is a huge disadvantage.

    So, as I trudge out to the barn to scoop poop, I comfort myself that all is well with my equine friends.  And I think up stories, as I reassure myself that manure is worthy of praise, and the aroma many not be fit for a perfume bottle, but it certainly has value.

    As a side note: for anyone who would like some fertilizer, I'm willing to share at no charge.  I've got a continuing supply.  I'm told my horse's poop grows superior tomatoes, among other fruits and vegetables.  Just saying.