Raison d'etre

        I recently had an experience where I had to question why I lived.  Even if I wanted to live.  I surprised myself with the immediacy of my answer, but it felt entirely true, as if I suddenly knew myself.  Perhaps it won't come as a surprise to those who know me, but I did startle myself with the passion that the knowledge elicited.

    I live because of my horses.  It's simple, but part of the core of my being.

    I adore my family, and I am constantly curious about what my grandchildren will do next.  They are a source of wonder and delight.

    However, I get out of bed in the morning to be with my horses.  I think I would happily sleep until noon if I didn't have a farm of horses and ponies to greet me with delight because I am up, ready to toss them some hay.

    I grumble, sometimes, when my day is broken into time blocks with lessons for children who want to be with horses.  But really, when I carefully think about those sessions, I realize they make my days important.  I want to pass on what I feel, and teaching is one way to share my passion with others.

    Years ago I wrote a newspaper column, and I included a story about my grandmother coming to visit my horses before she passed away.  She insisted I got my love of horses from her.  True?  I'm not sure.  How do we know what is in another's heart?  However, my grandmother seemed to believe that a part of her legacy was passing on a kinship with horses to me. 

    Now, I am aware that I am working on my own legacy.  I, too, am trying to spread my love of animals to others.  I do it by teaching, sharing, living it, and, yes, writing about the horses.  This blog, too, is legacy.

    I have been incredibly lucky with my life.  I was born into a loving family, in a country (Canada) that embraces freedom and a level of manners that has helped me all my life.  I fell into a lifestyle with horses; that is what my soul needed to make each day worth embracing.  My marriage, too, has supported a life with horses.  I have a husband who tolerates my passion, although it is not his.  He has managed to keep us financially able to maintain the animals. 

    I am repeating myself, but it is important to know I try to share my life with others who need equines in their life.

    Facing my mortality is challenging.  It is scary in many respects.  In years, I have already had more birthdays than both my parents - but not my grandmothers.  They both were productive in their 80s, and even in their early 90s.  Ultimately, pneumonia took them.  I can only hope that the shot I received a few years ago has mitigated part of my own susceptibility to that bug.

    No matter.  I have definitely reached the downside of the slop of life, and the slide is picking up speed.  If I want to accomplish more, I have to be ready to do it now.

    My bucket list is not long.  I have considered getting my PhD.   Should I?  Maybe.  I have things to say.  I want to go to Scotland to see the Aberdeen area where my father's family originated.

    I also intend to do more blogging and podcasting, especially about horses.  I can do this.  In fact, I am already scooping this goal out of the bucket, and making it a part of my life.  With some technical help,  I can get the podcasting going.  My son, especially, has encouraged me to join the YouTube generation.

    Meanwhile, there is one big goal in the bucket.  I need to ride again.  Do I want to return to the horse show world?  That one is not really in the bucket.  I haven't ridden since our beloved Skeeter passed away.  However, I keep telling everyone that Summer is as close to the perfect horse as any in existence.  Her pony companion, Rosie, reminds me of my precious PeeChee.  I rode PeeChee with joy.  I like ponies.  They have a way of moving that suits me.  So, perhaps...Rosie.

    When I was being checked into the hospital, the nurse asked me a series of questions, and one brought me to the edge of tears, not because of how I personally feel, but because I know that others don't share my delight in life.  She asked, "Do you ever hope that when you go to sleep, you won't wake up?"  I was stunned.  I couldn't answer, and the nurse knew at once it was because for me, the desire to never wake up, is not part of who I am.  I have horses waiting for me, depending on me.  Yes, I want/need to wake up.  Every day.  Always.

    And I want to have many more days to enjoy.  I want my interests, my family, and I want to be with my animals, especially my horses.

    I know that makes me fortunate.  I wish everyone had a passion and a reason to want to wake up.

    I do. 

     

     

     

Laminitis

    I wish I didn't know as much as I do about laminitis in horses.  Unfortunately, over the years, I have seen too much of it, and right now one of my ponies is presenting me with the worst case in my experience.

    For those unfamiliar with the disease, it is a form of lameness that can occur in horses and ponies because of too much grass high in sugar, grain overload, work over hard ground, stress and/or a metabolic disorder involving insulin resistance.  Any combination of these conditions can result in laminitis.

    Lameness, as I stated is the primary symptom.  A horse or pony with laminitis is reluctant to move, and is in obvious pain.  They have good reason to act as if they are in excruciating pain - they are.  It hurts to stand or walk, and often they will be found lying down.

    Some breeds are more susceptible to laminitis, and Shetland Ponies are in that number.  I include Miniature Horsses as prone to the condition because they are vertically challenged Shetlands.

    I have myself to blame for some of the laminitis that happened with our Miniature Horses.  It is too easy to overfeed the little darlings.

    Until I had a small herd of Miniature Horses, the first case of laminitis I had touch my life was through a friend who pastured a Welsh Pony (another susceptible breed.)  He ingested way too much fresh spring grass.  I knew his situation was serious, and I remember helping my friend by finding a way to get him off the pasture, and soaking his feet in ice water.  He recovered months later.

    Once I had Miniature Horses, I was doomed to have my own animals suffer from the disease.  In every case, spring or fall grass was the culprit, although I also was guilty of generous feeding. At  the time, the treatment was: no pasture grass, ice soaks, stall confinement, and local hay.  A good farrier was a must because the hooves had to be properly trimmed.

    A few years later my veterinarian sent me a laminitis study showing that alfalfa hay was not the problem, and since that has always been our feed of choice, I felt a bit better about my grocery regime.

    However, the fresh grass, and my generous hand with the hay would create problems.  My beloved Spice, a Welsh/Shetland cross, was somewhat doomed by his genetic makeup.  Both breeds are susceptible to laminitis.  He had always been an easy keeper with a rolly-polly build.  In middle age he developed the worst case of laminitis I had nursed.  I recall leading him to a stall, weeping as I urged him to a grass-less area.  He reluctantly followed, stumbling and hobbling in pain.  I wasn't sure it was fair to have him endure that much agony.  

    At the time, we had lost our farrier, and my husband was doing all the trimming on our horses.  He started watching YouTube videos, studying professionals working with laminitic hores.

    Success!  Immediately after his trim, Spice started walking with an easier stride.  Although it took time, he gradually improved.  Today, he is completely free of laminitis.  Unfortunately, he has developed cushing's syndrome, but that is another condition, common in older equines, and unrelated to laminitis.

    Poor Boudicca does not share Spice's recovery story - at least not yet.  The spring before last she developed mild symptoms of laminitis in her front feet.  I immediately restricted her diet, and she seemed to recover - marginally.  She had good days, and some when she moved with hesitation.   Then winter slammed us.  We had little rain to soften the ground, and a lot of freezing.  For Boudicca, it was like walking on unrelenting concrete.  We brought in wood shavings to cushion her feet.  Once again, there was a slight improvement.  I was hopeful.

    When our vet came in the late spring to give all our horses their shots and dewormer, Dr. Leydens was very concerned about Boudicca.  She did not want to overwhelm the pony's system, so Boudicca did not get shots, just dewormer.  Later, our kind vet sent over some Easy Boots that had been donated to Northwest Equine Veterinary Associates.  Unfortunately, they were too small for my Shetland, but I  started shopping.

                                 Boudicca wearing her boots with Spice behind her

 A few years ago, boots for horses and ponies were extremely expensive and customized.  They were also awkward to put on and pull off.  Not so today I discovered.  There are many makes and models and they are no more difficult to
order online than people shoes.  I found my best deal with Chewy.  The company assured me the two front boots could be returned if they didn't fit.  They did.  Boudicca took to her new sneakers with alacrity.  They were reasonably easy to put on with their velcro attachments, and I can quickly pull them off to clean. 

    For Boudicca, the worst was yet to come.  Late this spring, rain threatened.  I decided to stall Boudicca and her companion, Spice.  Their stall has a little turnout.  I have tried to shut the stall door to the outside, but Spice is too clever for Boudicca's good.  He has learned how to open the latch and push his way out.  I checked the turnout and decided that because it was small, with little edible greenery, it would be okay for the ponies for one night.  Since the ground was going to be soft, I removed Boudicca's sneakers.

    That was two bad mistakes.  Very bad.  In the morning, it was obvious Boudicca was suffering.  Her boots went back on, and she was in her dry lot area, along with Spice.

    Her condition got a little better.  A little.

    Then came the Fourth of July.  Our neighbors went crazy with loud noises.  Remember stress also brings on laminitis.

    A few days later, Boudicca was down.  I had never seen her so bad.  I called the veterinarian, and the office determined it was an emergency.  Dr. Tessa Van Diest arrived.  (She assured me I could call her Dr. Tessa.)  When I checked her bio, I found she was excellent with lameness.  She is.

    Dr Tessa gave Boudicca pain blocker shots and did X-rays in our arena.  (Changing technology boggles my mind.)  Boudicca's prognosis is not great, but it isn't the worst either.  Her disease can better be described as founder since the pictures showed the laminae in her feet were inflamed and rotated.  Bad.  But Dr. Tessa was not totally unoptimistic.

    The vet put Boudicca on drugs.  She was put on Gabapentin, Phenylbutazone and a truckload of acetaminophen a day.  Also, because laminitis has similarities to diabetes in humans she gets Ertugliflozin to maintain her insulin levels.

    She is moving easier - enough to boss Spice around.

    More X-rays come in a few weeks, and we will continue trimming her feet, especially her toes.

    Laminitis is dreadful, but I'm hopeful for Boudicca.

    Meanwhile,  I've notices my gaited mare's neck is a little cresty (a laminitis indicator.)   I think I better cut back on the groceries.